Teachers
Ernie looked up to most everyone, perhaps because he was short. His mentor was tall and a wee bit mad. His name was Dr. George. He was rather tall and Estonian and liked freedom. He left Estonia and came to New York on a boat. The boat didn’t sink so Dr. George went to school. He went to a lot of school. He was smart. He had a three PhD’s. One was in pharmaceutical psychology. One was in film, and one in literature. The initials behind his name were taller than Ernie.
The first day of class Dr George and Ernie had dominated the class discussion. Ernie was a few years older than the other kids, was married and had worked at a state institution for retarded adults,. He knew one couldn’t skate through life majoring in late night White Castle and I hope that girl sleeps with me tonight. Class was over but Dr George said no one could leave until someone made a comment other than Ernie. The other students were silent and fidgeted at their desks. Ernie got agitated, lit a cigarette and said please were in college. He got up and walked out.
That night Ernie and wife went to an art house film at the student union. The movie ended and they walked out. Also walking out was Dr. George, his wife and two daughters. . The Dr. said, Dr. Ernest . Ernie said me? Yes you will come home with me tonight and drink and chat and smoke. Ernie was pretty accomplished at these activities and said sure. Ernie knew when he was captured.
They went to the house and sat at the kitchen table. This delighted Ernie as all things at his house took place in the kitchen. The living room was where his parents went to pass out . Dr. George went to the freezer and got a gallon of vodka. He went to a drawer and pulled out five or six plastic medicine bottles. They were all hand labeled and contained pot. Dr George said lets try this one from lower Manhattan, 1969. Sure, said Ernie, as he took a swig of vodka. Dr George rolled a joint, took a large hit and pondered the moment. Ernie was beginning to realize he was in the company of a true artist. Dr George said a good buzz should not be wasted, but meditated upon. Sure said Ernie. He would not tell Willie Mays how to steal a base, he wasn’t about to tell Chekov how to get stoned.
Dr. George peppered Ernie with questions. Ernest how did you become this person in this kitchen? The pot and vodka and utter clarity of Dr. George’s probing line of questioning left Ernie open like a tin of sardines. He felt like a Catholic at confessional. Well, my Dad left when I was seven, My Mother was a non -differential schizophrenic. I had three older sisters that were good looking and my grandmother felt she had perhaps the firmest breasts of any woman over sixty-five on the planet. Oh, replied Dr. George, perhaps we should try some pot from upper Manhattan circa 1972. Sure said Ernie I’m down with that. Down said Dr. George, why, we’re. trying to go upwards. He took another swig of vodka, and said language is so strife with semantic issues. Of course replied Ernie. His mind was leaving lower Manhatten and heading toward Bangor, Maine rapidly.
Some how the conversation arrived on the subject of sport. Dr George perked up. I recently took up Basketball. I like it. I like it a lot. I’m a big guy and I like moving people around the court with my girth. It’s kind of like chess. Ernie smiled and thought about foreshadowing. He had spent his entire youth playing and had dribbled a ball three hours nightly in his basement. He was about as good at basketball as Stalin was at revolution. I play a little ball said Ernie. But you’re rather short replied Dr. George and doesn’t basketball by nature cater to the bigger man. I mean the laws of nature are at work. Ernie had excelled at get large black people the ball and watched them dunk with utter impunity. Well let us play this Saturday suggested Ernie. Sure said Dr. George it will be great fun. Just for a grin lets play a game of one on one. Mano mano. If I beat you Dr. George I don’t have to do the term paper for your class. Sure, competition is good for the human spirit, replied Dr, George confidently.
They met at the gym on Saturday. Are you ready for defeat with honor,. said the good doctor? I am said Ernie feeling like a house man in a card game. Ernie went around and thru Dr. George like a race car against a volks wagon. The final score was twenty-one to four.. Speechless Dr. George stared down at Ernie. Let us go back to my apartment , have some smoke and a couple of beers, said Ernie. They went to the apartment. Ernie went to his kitchen drawer and got out his pot and said circa streets of Chicago 1974. He took a long pull on the joint and handed it to Dr. George.It smelled like victory. Dr. George and Ernie became good friends. Ernie got an A in the class and never did turn in a term paper.
Craig Champlin September 2011
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